Semi-Ethical Slut

In fun cross-posting news, I wrote a lovely little essay about how my last relationship ended, posted over at NerdyPerv.com. Here, the first bit to give you a taste:

I am honest to a fault. I will correct the record to reflect reality as accurately as possible, even if it means getting myself in trouble or looking foolish. In college I told a bouncer who had let me into a club that I was only 20. I’m that committed to truth.

This means that I’m as upfront as possible in my relationships, and expect nothing less than complete honesty from friends and lovers in return—I couldn’t be in an open marriage without such a policy. It brings to mind the term “ethical slut”—an identifier in the non-monogamous community that is both a tongue-in-cheek nod to our perceived sexual promiscuity and an acknowledgment that such “promiscuity” only works with care, honesty, and respect towards all involved parties. I do my best to uphold my side of the ethical slut bargain.

Recently I had a relationship with a guy I’ll call John. After seven months of sleeping together, John left town to attend a wedding, and in retrospect (it’s always in retrospect, isn’t it?), that was the beginning of our end. I was unsurprised and unfazed when he hooked up with a bridesmaid at the wedding (who am I to stand in the way of taffeta-clad booty?), but upon his return home, he announced his intention of conducting a fully-fledged relationship with that piece of taffeta.

John began referring to his bridesmaid as his “girlfriend,” and the bridesmaid professed her love for him. Neither of these things would have been unnerving, I suppose, if a) they weren’t living 22 hours apart, and b) he hadn’t continued to sleep with me.

Please go read the rest at NerdyPerv! It’s a quality start-up site with some good people behind it. Plus I think I wrote a nice little piece.

Okay, shameless plugs complete. Back to your regularly scheduled lack of updates.

~ by Jane on July 2, 2009.